Fated Hearts

We hope you enjoy your visit.

You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.

Join our community!

If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Fated Hearts
Topic Started: Aug 2 2008, 03:30 PM (138 Views)
Fayte	Aug 2 2008, 03:30 PM Post #1
I am Sir Jack Rabbit Posts: 118 Group: Members Member #3 Joined: Jul 16, 2008	This is the beginning of my game's actual story. What I will be writing here is what happens from when the player turns the game on until the credits role. Well without further ado~ This story begins on the road to a bandit's hideout; Ryot is commissioned by a Granthas town noble to apprehend a dangerous felon named Nito. A pitched battle ensues on his approach to the Nito's hideout. Here we witness Ryot's brilliant fighting prowess as he defeats a number of thugs, progressing ever closer to his goal - bringing in Nito, alive, to justice. Upon entering the main hall of the Nito's hideout, he approaches Nito, fights him, and brings him to his knees. Then enters an angry young lady, Aria Saints. Aria just happens to have accepted the same commission as Ryot - from a different employer. In the ensuing argument, Nito escapes into a craggy wilderness through the rear door of the hideout. Ryot and Aria, upon realizing their mistake, pursue Nito into the rocky, mountainous wilderness - as they pick their way deeper into the hills, they begin to take note of the increasing beauty of their surroundings. Soon enough they corner Nito - who has undergone an intense change of appearance and character. His eyes glow red, and his physical prowess in the next battle is astounding - he tires the pair out, leaving them puffing, before laughing at their misfortune and demanding they leave before he changes his mind about the value of human life. At this moment Ryot stands up to take a shot at the Nito and is quite suddenly stabbed in the back by a figure swathed in robes - and a weird green glow. Aria, naturally, screams and tries to attack and is brutally thrown away by this powerful personage. Nito recognizes the figure and attacks the figure; their explosive battle proceeds out of the area, leaving a dying Ryot with an unconscious Aria. "How stupid...stabbed in the back...a-am I really going to die? Here? Like this?" Just before Ryot takes his last breath he notices a butterfly lands on his hand. Ryot awakens in the spirit realm, where he is confronted by Thanetos, and learns that he has become Immortal - and must now fight for his right to live in the material realm, or be judged at The Roads of Fate, and be sent down one of the roads. Ryot defeats Thanetos, much to the surprise of the great Judge. Ryot awakens in a shack, groggy and confused as to his 'dream' (his meeting and battle with Thanetos) As Ryot comes to, he is greeted by Nord Sunder, from whom he initially recoils and challenges to a fight. Nord convinces him he's not out to do any harm, in fact to the contrary, he's been looking after Ryot during a 3 day coma. After Ryot is convinced, Nord tells him to get himself together and meet him in the dining hall, suggesting he must be famished after not eating for 3 days. Nord exits and Ryot wonders briefly at being unconscious for 3 days, and at the severe ugliness, but charitable nature, of Nord. He notes that Nord could easily have been nursing a psychotic criminal who upon waking may have murdered him on the spot. In the meantime, Ryot's hunter is yet to appear…



EvenAngels	Aug 4 2008, 09:20 PM Post #2
Your Resident Rinoa Fanboy and Aura Fan Posts: 300 Group: Ast. Manager Member #2 Joined: Jul 16, 2008	I read through this on CA as well, and currently, the only thing I will say is this; The last line makes it appear that there will be a twist about Ryot's hunter. Now if there isn't and it is just coincidental then that's cool, but if there is... Unless you meant to make people ready for it, I would try to change that last line if you are planning to use this exact post in a Project Info post. Other than that, it seems be a solid base for a great plot continuation



Fayte	Aug 4 2008, 11:25 PM Post #3
I am Sir Jack Rabbit Posts: 118 Group: Members Member #3 Joined: Jul 16, 2008	I'm actually having trouble understanding what you mean there.



EvenAngels	Aug 4 2008, 11:34 PM Post #4
Your Resident Rinoa Fanboy and Aura Fan Posts: 300 Group: Ast. Manager Member #2 Joined: Jul 16, 2008	Sorry I mean, the line "in the meantime, Ryot's hunter is yet to appear…", to me at least, suggests that there is going to be a plot twist as to who Ryot's hunter actually is. It gives the impression that the hunter will turn out to be one of the major characters, such as a party member. If this impression is wrong then disregard this comment. Hope that makes more sense... I'm really bad at explaining things...



Fayte	Aug 5 2008, 07:32 AM Post #5
I am Sir Jack Rabbit Posts: 118 Group: Members Member #3 Joined: Jul 16, 2008	Yeah, actually you're right. Ryot's angel (who hasn't been named yet) will be someone torn between his natural inclination to attack and kill Ryot, and his other motives that require him to remain alive, and for him to remain in the party. Edited by Fayte, Aug 7 2008, 05:28 PM.



1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)


« Previous Topic · Plot & Story Critique · Next Topic »